A Promise Fulfilled
by KittenKin
Summary: A terrible "what if" story set in Celes. Major character death. All hurt, no comfort. The ending is, at best, resigned instead of happy.


**Warnings:** Spoilers for Celes and onward, major character death. And let me be perfectly clear about the majorness of said character death: FAI DIES. It is not just a nightmare, it is not a mistake, he ceases to exist and does not resurrect. This story is 100% hurt and 0% comfort.

**Author's Notes:** Zelinxia wrote a heartbreaking "what if" story about Kurogane failing to save Fai in Celes, and my accursed, angst-guzzling muse would not let me sleep or work until I had taken the same idea and written it from Kurogane's perspective. If I could divorce my muse and sue for abuse, I would.

* * *

"Go!"

Kurogane heard that single, terrible, terrifying word with piercing clarity, but refused not only to obey it but to even acknowledge that he'd understood. The cool blue eye, so sharp and clear over parchment pale skin splattered with dark blood - and how bitter to be reminded that magic, like luck and life and love, could sometimes run out and leave you with nothing but regrets - changed out grim determination and resignation for growing panic, and the wizard's insistent voice grew frantic.

"What are you waiting for? _GO!_"

Kurogane only gripped tighter, and if the wind hadn't been roaring so loudly - if the kid hadn't been shouting at him and his own heart hadn't been thundering, _breaking_ in his ears - he might have been able to hear delicate wrist bones grinding under his hand. The opening that let his hand pass through easily but refused to disgorge even a tuft of fur from the wizard's sleeve shivered another centimeter smaller and now Fai was twisting and tugging, trying to escape his grip almost as frantically as he was trying to rescue the mage. A ridiculous game of tug-of-war. They couldn't even do _this _without being at odds with each other.

They'd come so far! Crossed worlds, spanned time, changed dimensions...crossed lines, hurdled obstacles and tore down barriers...and just at the moment when they'd finally, _finally _laid the wizard's past to rest, it had surged back up again, black and ugly and unrelenting. The lies and deception and curses had not only poisoned Fai's entire life; they were determined to drag him down into death as well. The sphere shrank, and the tall, lanky form within it was forced to hunch down. Even the dignity of facing one's death while still standing strong and tall and defiant was not being allowed the man.

"Let go! You'll lose your hand!"

He didn't give a damn about his hand; what he couldn't lose was _Fai_. Kurogane pulled and pulled again, and some of the wizard's winces were now for the simple physical pain of it instead of from terror. The ninja beat at the glimmering globe with his fist despite the way his vision blurred and mind reeled with every fresh wave of pain from his injuries, stabbed and slashed and hacked at it with Souhi's blade though he knew the crushing magic would shrug the blows off like they were nothing, even kicked at it like a child. A desperately angry child unable to sit still and watch everything he held dear be ripped away without at least drawing blood in turn even if it fixed nothing. If he could have opened his jaws wide enough he would have gnawed on the sphere.

White teeth so often bared in shallow smiles were now gritted under a twisted grimace as the wizard clawed at the ninja's fingers in an attempt to pry them away. Futile, foolish. Hadn't he learned yet that Kurogane's determination that he should live far outmatched his own notion that he deserved to die? Those teeth flashed again as Fai suddenly leaned forward and _bit_, gnawing at Kurogane's knuckles like a fox at a snare. The pain only lasted a split second and then the ninja almost actually let go in shock and a stabbing, wrenching, gouging agony as sharp teeth were replaced by a hot breath sobbed against his broken skin and a kiss - fierce, desperate, despairing - pressed hard against the back of his hand.

"Kurogane..._Kuro-sama_, let go, _please_. Let me go."

He just stared, paralyzed now by that desperate whisper against his knuckles and the blue eye pleading up at him. He watched a tear - a new one, not for the princess or the brother but for _him_, for the idea of _them_ as it died before their very eyes - fall from lashes tacky with blood and get lost in the swirl of gore staining the wizard's cheek. He stared, and didn't know whether to let go or hold on, didn't know which one was the strong and right thing to do, suddenly wished his father could advise him and wished his mother could hold him and wished he'd better protected the wizard, kissed the idiot when he'd had the chance, _told _him...

The wrist that had fallen limp in his grasp was suddenly wrenched away, and Kurogane didn't know whether to be more angry at himself for slackening his grip or Fai for taking advantage of it. He threw himself at the opening, retching on the hot blood that tickled his lungs and choked him - like anger, like terror, like tears - as his broken and bloodied torso slammed against the curved surface of the wizard's glowing coffin. Kurogane chased after Fai with one arm deep within the sphere, but as always the wizard evaded him even in the rapidly shrinking remains of Celes. Fai fell back and then braced himself against the curved wall of murderous magic and _kicked_. His foot landed flat against the opening - flat against Kurogane's chest - and sent the ninja staggering back into the null space he and the others had escaped into.

Red eyes closed in a grimace of pain and then flew wide in horror. He hardly knew what thought was uppermost in his mind; they all crowded up in a flash as if they too knew that there was no time left. He couldn't believe the wizard had gotten the upper hand again, raged at himself for failing a loved one again, hated with the deepest hatred everything he could think of to blame for this situation with no solution, and felt a bottomless horror that the globe was already so small that Fai could lean against one side and reach the other with his foot.

The wizard was kneeling now on shattered stone, hands pressed against the unyielding opening as if regretting pushing Kurogane away. Finally. Too late.

Kurogane reached for the opening and pulled himself close again, and Fai shrank back from his approach, fearful of another attempt by the ninja to grab at him. It was a futile gesture; the sphere was so small now that soon, too soon, it would not leave the mage room enough to escape the ninja's reach, and even the opening was beginning to shiver closed. Even if Fai could have found a way to leave the last fragment of Celes, the door was shut. All that could escape now was the sound of the frightened gasps and heartbreaking sobs that the wizard couldn't repress as he glanced frantically around at his rapidly shrinking world.

Kurogane saw it in Fai's face as realization slammed down. The sphere was shrinking, and while escape had seemed possible - a futile hope, but still it had existed in their minds - it had seemed to shrink too fast. Now, knowing that the wizard was doomed to this death, they understood with breathless, horrified clarity that it was going to take Fai too long to die. Legs first, most likely. Then the terrible compression of the spine, hips and shoulders shattering as the globe forced him into a fetal position. Fai would die as he'd come into this world, bloody and screaming and accursed.

"Not like this," Fai begged, looking up at him through the faltering circle, and Kurogane was still sunk in such a mire of despair and hatred and red, red rage that he didn't understand the words at first. No, not like this, it wasn't ending like this, they weren't going to part like this, he couldn't let this happen, not again, not to _Fai_...

"Kuro-sama, _please_. I don't want to die like this."

And he understood, and all the breath left in his lungs left him in a wet, choking denial. There was blood and bile in his mouth and he clenched his hand so hard that by all rights the globe holding the wizard prisoner should have shattered.

"_Please!_" It was almost a scream, and Kurogane flinched. Fai brought his hands up to his mouth as if to hold back the cries trying to escape. He only held them there for a split second, and when they dropped away there was a strange sort of calm to the man, though his voice and form still trembled.

"Please," Fai said, and it was almost a whisper. "You promised...you promised you'd kill me. I know you don't want to but I'm _scared_. Please, Kuro-sama...help me. _Save me._"

He felt like a man trapped in a dream. In a nightmare. He stared unblinkingly at that pleading, bleeding, beloved face, not blinking, not breathing, hardly feeling like he even existed. Something roared in his ears; the wind, his blood, he didn't know. He felt detached; from his body, so broken and bleeding out, from his heart...the same. His hand clenched tight around Souhi's hilt, but he barely felt it, like it was just the memory of having done so. Something moved at the edges of his peripheral vision, a quick blur like a shadow or wraith, but he couldn't spare it any attention. All he could see was Fai's face, blood and tears wetting his face in equal measure, running down his pale cheeks and catching on the upturned corners of his mouth. Pale lips parted but Kurogane couldn't hear what the mage said to him over the roaring in his ears. Lip-reading was not a skill he possessed, and the ninja puzzled over what Fai had been mouthing in a detached sort of way in the back of his mind as a splash of red suddenly obscured the mage from view.

Darkness surged up after the red like a hungry shadow that wanted to eat all the color in the world, blinding him.

* * *

He woke in Nihon, body cleansed and swathed in bandages, vision clear and landing upon the form of his princess. He was home, and had no joy in it. Kurogane pushed himself into a sitting position to greet his mistress and realized with a dull sort of thud in his chest that he was still holding Souhi in his hand. At least, what remained of it. The hilt was intact, but the blade ended after only a handspan. The folded steel blade was crushed at its abrupt termination, and he could imagine the force - the _power _- necessary to wreak such damage to the hardy metal. Magic strong enough to destroy a world would not have chipped a tooth on a mere sword.

The weapon, like the hand that still gripped it, had been cleansed, but it was an imperfect job. He looked and saw dull red tucked away into the cracks that ran up the ruined blade, in the creases between his fingers and under his fingernails. All that remained of Fai D. Fluorite of Celes, save for memories and the marks he'd left on the lives he'd touched.

He carried the shattered blade tucked into his belt at the small of his back while Ginryuu rode at his hip or rested in his hand, and when the dragon-headed sword had brought their enemy low, Kurogane whipped Souhi out and drove all that remained of it straight into Reed's heart. Fai's remains should have been accorded a finer resting place, but he thought the wizard would have understood and approved of being made a part of the final battle. The body of their sworn enemy disintegrated and Souhi fell to the ground with a clatter, but Kurogane did not pick it up even after all was over. It was only a broken sword, now.

Red eyes scanned the underground cavern as if expecting to see a familiar form with sunsilk hair and a clear blue eye, but only fell on the crumpled forms of the grieving children and bun. He closed his eyes, seeing again that gentle smile covered in blood and tears, watching again the words falling from mute lips. He could understand them now, and murmured a reply that was lost in the sounds of water and weeping.


End file.
